If you are not a shareholder in Kakos Industries then please click back out of this blog post, fire up your gas oven, douse the flames, and inhale the gas for a minimum of forty minutes, (preferably with your head in the oven).*
If you do not own a gas powered oven, then please connect a hose to the exhaust of your motor vehicle and feed it through the nearest available side window. Now start your engine and sit in the car, preferably in your garage for approximately one hour.*
If you are a shareholder then congratulations. Please feel free to enjoy this review of the podcast dedicated to bringing you only the best in evil.
If there’s one thing this Halloween month needs its evil, and here we have a company dedicated to bringing you the highest quality in all that is, the afore mentioned evil.
Set to the beat of what feels like the score for the movie Fight Club, our host, and CEO of Kakos Industries, Corin Deeth III, keeps us up to date with what’s going on within this illustrious company.
You will be enthralled at the ingenuous lengths the company goes to in order to deliver evil of the highest caliber.
If you knew evil, like they know evil,
Oh! Oh! Oh! What a girl.
But seriously now…EEEVVVIIILLL!
Get some today, at Kakos Industries, the home of evil since the dawn of time!
You can find all the evil you need at the corporate website.
I know you won’t need any more evil now you have experienced Kakos Industries, but if you think you can handle it, here is some more spine chilling shows for this hallowed month!
* Please don’t attempt either of these suggestions. They will result in death, and have only been written to dramatise the show I am reviewing, and give you a sense of what you can expect.
We at White NoiZe love life, we love your life, so please, stay with us, read a few more reviews, like and share them with your friends, your enemies, your lovers, your grandparents…no wait, not your grandparents. They said some things about me that weren’t very nice. I forgive them, but still…